As it turns out, Hercules actor Brett Goldstein has an NSFW plan to take down Chris Hemsworth's Thor.
Goldstein is still early in his Marvel Studios career, having just made his MCU debut in the post-credits stinger of Thor: Love and Thunder.
After fans have become accustomed to Marvel's take on Norse mythology, Goldstein's character (along with Russell Crowe's Zeus) marks the beginning of a dive into the Greek mythos, something that is sure to come back if and when Hemsworth's God of Thunder does.
Despite Love and Thunder director Taika Waititi "[not] even [knowing Hercules] was a character in Marvel," the Greek demi-god looks as though he has a long journey in the franchise ahead of him and will hopefully go toe-to-toe with Hemsworth at some point, something Goldstein has thought long and hard about.
Hercules' R-Rated Plan to Beat Thor
Appearing in an interview with Josh Horowitz on his Happy Sad Confused podcast, MCU Hercules actor Brett Goldstein revealed his R-rated plot for taking down Thor if the two ever come to blows.
During the conversation, Goldstein and Horowitz went over all the ways Hemsworth's God of Thunder had Hercules beat, including physical statue, charisma, and god-like prescence but could not find an advantage for the Ted Lasso star:
Josh Horowitz: “But look, with all due humility, can you take on Chris Hemsworth? The man is a beast.”
Brett Goldstein: “He’s a big boy, isn’t he?”
Horowitz: “Dude…”
Goldstein: “With all due humility, he’s a big boy. But, does he have massive muscles? Yes, he does… Hang on a second. Does he have incredible, unbelievable charisma? Yes, he does.”
Horowitz: “We can find something. Wait.”
Goldstein: “But does he have the ability to look like a god? Yes, he does.”
Horowitz: “No, Brett. We gotta find something. What’s your advantage? You have to have something.”
That was until the two agreed Goldstein could beat the Australian actor in two ways, first by way of "body hair" and by "out [cursing] him:"
Goldstein: “Hair? Body hair.”
Horowitz: “You got great body hair.”
Goldstein: “Thank you. Maybe that’s the way I beat Thor.”
Horowitz: “You can out curse him, probably.”
Goldstein: “Yeah, he’s not a swearer. He wouldn’t know what to do. Freak him out.”
Goldstein and Horowitz then went into what it is like spinning so many plates at once, adding to the MCU to the actor's already-packed plate, with Horowtiz asking "what [the actor is] doing" with his downtime right now, to which Goldstein revealed that he still does "stand-up most nights" despite being so busy:
Horowitz: “You said before, you don’t do the two or five year plan, and we don’t know if Ted Lasso continues or not. But like, we also said that you balance six different jobs at once. You like to do that. So, when you leave here and you’re done with the press, are there three scripts you’re working? Like, what are you doing?”
Goldstein: “Yeah. Well, I do stand-up most nights.”
The Love and Thunder star called stand-up comedy his "heroin," remarking that Chris Hemsworth probably doesn't have heroin, so he could also "stick the [MCU hero with] heroin" to beat him:
Horowitz: “Do you really? You like still prioritize that?”
Goldstein: “Yeah, because I love it and weirdly, it makes me… I just think stand-up’s like heroin, like I need to do it to feel normal, sadly… ’You gotta give yourself one treat.’”
Horowitz: “’Don’t deny him his heroin, guys.”
Goldstein: “Does Chris Hemsworth have heroin? No, that’s how I beat him. Heroin. There you go. You can cut the C words. Stick the heroin in there.”
This is not the first time Horowitz has sat down with Goldstein to talk about his newly-minted MCU role. Back in July, around the release of Thor: Love and Thudner, the pair broke down what it was like joining Marvel Studios and how that all came to be.
In that interview, Goldstein told Horowitz that the whole thing came "completely out of nowhere:"
Horowitz: “How did Hercules happen? Set it up for me. So you appeared in the post credits of the last Thor film. Is that a Kevin Feige text, phone call? Do you have a relationship? What happened?”
Goldstein: “No, no. Completely out of nowhere. I just got an email saying that Marvel producers would like to talk to you about something. Obviously, I wasn’t allowed to know any of it. And then I had a Zoom and they literally just explained, ‘Hey Brett, we’re making this Thor: Love and Thunder and at the end of it, blah, blah, blah, this happens, this happens, and then the camera spins around. and it’s you.’ And I went, ’Are you f**king joking?”
The Hercules actor remembered the process happening so quickly. He lamented that after that first phone call, they promptly sent over a "really impressive" drawing "[of him] as Hercules:"
Horowitz: “(laughs) You’re looking on your phone IDs going, ‘Mr. Marvel? Who is this?’
Goldstein: “Yeah, ‘Is it real?’ Yeah. It was literally that. And then, they’d already done the artwork. Like they’ve drawn me as Hercules. And it was really impressive. I mean, it was FIFA 23-impressive. I was like, ‘Wow, you’ve really done this.’ So yeah, I mean that’s probably, of all the things, that was the one that was most completely out of nowhere, left-field, like never considered it. It wasn’t on my radar. Just a wild thing.”
As for where the actor will be popping up next within Marvel's super-powered franchise, Goldstein remained tight-lipped:
Horowitz: “And do they like… when you had that initial meeting, say like, ‘Look, we can’t guarantee anything, but look we could see you popping up in other places.’ Like is there any promise or talk of that? There must be something.”
Goldstein: “I can’t say anything, because they put a chip in your head.”
The 42-year-old actor and Horowitz laughed about the "chips" these MCU actors have these days, controlling their every interview answer:
Horowitz: “So I hear… There are a lot of chips going around, because everyone’s in the Marvel movies.”
Goldstein: “Yeah, yeah. That’s why actors are weird.”
Horowitz: “You used to be so well adjusted, but now they all have chips.”
Goldstein: “(mimics being electrocuted) Electrocuted every time they’re asked about more questions.”
Horowitz: “Feige’s like (mimics pressing a button rapidly)… Look, you have, I think, two words that you’ve said in the MCU so far… ‘Yes, Father.’”
Goldstein: “‘Yes, Father.’
Horowitz: “Well done. Well done on that.”
Goldstein: “Thank you. Thank you.”
Horowitz then prodded Goldstein on if there was anything that was cut from his Love and Thunder appearance, with the MCU's Hercules wisecracking that there was once an "eight-page monologue" that was cut "down to two words:"
Horowitz: “Was there a monologue that was cut, or was that literally it?”
Goldstein: “(jokingly) It was three– It was an eight-page monologue that they got down to two words. No. (laughs)”
Horowitz: “We’ve rethought the role. ‘Yes, Father,’ works, the rest–”
Goldstein: “‘It’s better if you say less.’ No, it was just that.”
When Will Hercules & Thor Meet in the MCU?
All this joking about Brett Goldstein and Chris Hemsworth going toe-to-toe on the big screen is fun, but - as Thor 4 set up - the pair are on a collision course, and there is no telling what exactly is going to happen.
However, when this battle of the gods will actually take place remains up in the air.
One would assume it would naturally fit into the plot of a potential Thor 5, but it may not be that easy.
Thor star Chris Hemsworth revealed that he approached Love and Thunder like it was his "last time" playing the character. However, the actor has since walked that statement back, noting that if he were to return it would probably be smart to "close the book" on Thor (aka kill him off).
So does that mean he could die at the hands of Goldstein's Hercules? That doesn't seem like a send-off befitting of one of the MCU's original icons.
This could be a case of an actor wanting something and the studio wanting/planning for something else. Despite these comments from Hemsworth, Marvel remains "excited" about the actor's future with the franchise.
So whether it's in Thor 5 that the two actors clash or somewhere else, it feels as though the pair are destined to be on screen together. It just feels like a matter of if Hemsworth is up for more Marvel-ous fun.
Both Brett Goldstein and Chris Hemsworth can be seen in Thor: Love and Thunder which is streaming on Disney+ now.
